


Phil Coulson's Book Nook

by SmartCoffee



Category: Ghost Rider (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Books, Culture, F/M, Fire, Fluff, Food, Geography, Noodles, Philosophy, Post-Avengers Shawarma Scene, clean, deep thoughts, diversity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:15:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22579942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartCoffee/pseuds/SmartCoffee
Summary: Agent Phil Coulson indulges his love of books. A shocking fire hurts an innocent victim in New York City. Phil makes connections between his reading and the plot unraveling around him.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. It Kinda Makes It Hotter

Shield Season 4

Director Coulson: Morning, honey.

Agent Melinda May: Don't. ( _She puts her hand out as if to say, "Stop.")_

Coulson: We're not doing nicknames?

May: No, Phil.

Coulson: Interesting line to draw. You've called me some crude names but I can't call you "honey." ( _His lips barely move but he smiles with his eyes.)_

May: I can kick your little ass whenever I want.

Coulson: I know. It kinda makes it hotter.

May: ( _May gives him a dirty look_.) What are you reading?

Coulson: It's the Quran.

May: You're interested in Islam all of a sudden?

Coulson: I'm realizing that SHIELD is really ill-equipped to understand people around the world. One point two billion people are Muslim and we hardly know anything about them.

May: SHIELD has to work for the whole planet.

Coulson: _(Nodding)_ Exactly. There's a line in here. It just really meant something to me. I want to read it to you.

May: Okay.

Coulson: "And what is the matter with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah and for the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, "Our Lord, take us out of this city of oppressive people and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper?" Isn't that amazing?

May: Wait, can you do that again slower?

Coulson: ( _Stares silently_ )

May: Oh grow up!

Coulson: "And what is the matter with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah."

May: Got it. That's about fighting the good fight. Keep going.

Coulson: "And for the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, 'Our Lord take us out of this city of oppressive people."

May: That sounds like a cry for help.

Coulson: "And appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper."

May: That seems like bad writing at the end. Wouldn't a protector and a helper be the same thing?

Coulson: Yeah the words sound strange in places. Get past the words and go down to the feelings. Imagine this city where a group of bullies is making decent people miserable. Just think about what it would feel like to be in danger in your own home town. Then God comes in saying, listen up, whoever is reading this, there are people who can't fight for themselves. If you can't fight for those defenseless people, what's the matter with you? And if you can't fight, why can't you find a way to help?

May: That's the mission of SHIELD - fighting evil for good people that can't fight for themselves.

Coulson: And maybe not everyone is strong enough to be a protector, but everyone can help. Just like we have agents that don't go out into the field but give us crucial support.

May: This is what you've always been about.

Coulson: Or at least, I hope that's what it is.

May: Are you crying, honey, I mean, Phil?

Coulson: ( _Crying and laughing at the same time_ )


	2. Roasted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson investigates a strange case of arson. He meets a humble restaurant owner with a story that links him to another Marvel hero.

WHOOSH. A giant fireball careened down from the sky. It engulfed a Middle Eastern restaurant in New York. The restaurant was ablaze. It hit at 9:50, ten minutes before closing time. The two guys inside, a server and a custodian, didn't have a chance. Turned to charcoal. There was not even enough bone to bury. 

Agent Coulson: Geez. It's unbelievable. I'm sorry. I'm Phil Coulson. The City Safety Commission sent me to investigate what happened. What's your role at the restaurant?

Tariq Ziyad: I'm the owner. My name is Tariq Ziyad. Do you need me to spell that?

Agent Coulson: That's okay. Tariq, do you have any idea what happened here other than a huge fire?

Tariq: It's just strange. Restaurants have fires all the time. In the industry, we plan what we'll do in case of a fire. But there's more damage outside than inside. And it completely wrecked our place, but didn't even touch the neighbors.

Coulson: That sounds like someone wanted to mess with you and only you.

Tariq: Right! So I'm not crazy for thinking that, right?

Coulson: No. Is there any reason anyone would hate you?

Tariq: Not really. This is just a place where people get falafels and shawarma. You know, typical Arab food. Some people hate Arabs. Bigots burn things down. Masjids are hit pretty often. Not restaurants.

Coulson: They burn down masjids in America? Like recently?

Tariq: Yeah. I'm surprised the City Safety Commission doesn't know about that. It happens more often in rural states, but there are masjid burnings in big cities too. There was an arson at a San Diego masjid in March 2019.

Coulson: There was a food you mentioned, it triggered something in me, but I can't place it. It wasn't falafel.

Tariq: Shawarma. It's roasted meat that we slice thin.

Coulson: Right. Shawarma. Is your restaurant famous for its shawarma? Or is it famous for anything?

Tariq: We used to advertise that we were voted "the best shawarma in New York City." It was technically true. I have a friend that works for a newspaper. He wrote the article as a favor to me, though he really does like eating here.

Coulson: Crap. I thought I was on to something. Nobody would burn down a shawarma restaurant just for that.

Tariq: No. Wait, oh, oh no, Ya Allah! After the Battle of New York, the Avengers came here. It was the weirdest thing. Iron Man said he wanted to try shawarma because life was too short or some white shit like that. Oh, uh, no offense.

Coulson: None taken. Go on.

Tariq: It was all of them. It was Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and this other guy who I didn't recognize. Or maybe it wasn't all of them, because Hulk wasn't there. But it's so weird that the restaurant was attacked for that because we didn't tell anyone that the Avengers were here. I'm sure they didn't want to be mobbed by people asking for pictures and autographs.

Coulson: Someone knew. 


	3. Isn't That From A Book?

Coulson: May, this arson isn't making sense to me. What do you know about arson?

May: Next to nothing. Do you feel like ramen?

Coulson: Ramen? I'm trying to crack this case. Food is the last thing I have on my mind. But ramen isn't a bad choice.

May: I'll order.

Coulson: Great. Now which one of our enemies uses fire?

May: Phil?

Coulson: We have to narrow the list of possibilities.

May: Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

Coulson: Fair enough. Wait a minute, you didn't come up with that! Isn't that from a book?

May: No shit, Sherlock.

Coulson: It's not Sherlock Holmes. It's, it's, on the tip of my tongue.

May: You'll figure it out. Don't panic.

Coulson: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!!!

May: That's it.

Coulson: There's a copy sitting on my bookshelf. Did you read that just to impress me?

May: I got myself pork ramen and you chicken teriyaki ramen.

Coulson: What about our arsonist?

May: He'll have to feed himself.

Coulson: I should just have dinner but I think I'm going to be distracted.

May: You gotta eat. Go to bed early. It will make more sense in the morning.

Couslon: Sleep on it?

May: Exactly. One more thing.

Coulson: Yeah?

May: I took your book without telling you. I was bad.

Coulson: Agent May, that was totally out of line! What the hell were you thinking?

May grabs his face with both hands and kisses him forcefully.


	4. Visionaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected clue comes to Coulson but it isn't quite the break he wanted.

First, he saw a little robin with its auburn chest and pointy yellow beak.

Second, he saw a child's drawing of a blue and green earth with a sharp line of red in the middle.

Third, he heard the voice of a girl in grade school saying, "It's all going to end, Mr. Coulson. No matter what you do. I don't want to see it, but I keep seeing it. It's very hard for me, Mr. Coulson."

Good lord, a child dealing with visions of the end of the world. How could she possibly bear it? There had to be a way to fix that - therapy, drugs, maybe even some sort of alien tech. 

Fourth, he saw Daisy falling and a building collapsing.

That's not like her. For the past two years, she's had excellent control of her geokinetic powers. But what if she wanted that building to collapse? If it were part of her mission, then Daisy would destroy a building. I hope it was a SHIELD mission and not one of HYDRA's. 

Fifth, he woke up with a start. He slammed his hand down on his alarm clock. The clock fell and so did a novel that had been sitting on his nightstand: Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke. 

The book reminded him that things could be worse. At least aliens weren't trying to brainwash the world's children. Although, come to think of it, that would explain more than a few YouTube challenges.


	5. Polarities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tend to write too much dialogue and not enough action. I say, if my stories lack action, I'm gonna add a fireball.

The man in leather screamed, "LIARRRR!!!" He opened his mouth and his head transformed into a skull. A stream of fire poured out his mouth and engulfed the priest.

***

Sometimes bad things happen to good people. That's one of the toughest lessons of life.

Marco Rodriguez wasn't always good. He was a class clown. He put a frog in Stacy Kitchner's lunchbox. But his parents and his teachers gave him some tough love and showed a lot of patience. He was a high school honors student. He studied hard in school and almost applied to law school.

In his last semester of college, his grandmother, Carmen, got a terrible diagnosis: throat cancer. Marco kept up with college just barely, but spent much of his time praying. He drove Carmen to appointments and picked up her meds. Carmen got better and Marco was convinced his prayers made the difference. 

He became a Catholic priest. He organized meals for the homeless and blood drives for the sick. Carmen died four years after being diagnosed with cancer from an unrelated heart attack. Marco didn't talk about her or what he did for her but his parishioners wouldn't have been surprised. That was Marco.

One day, Marco got a call from a man asking if he could confess his sins. They agree to meet at the church at 3:30. 

They met in an office rather than in a confessional. Marco wore his black cassock and white collar. The other man was in a black leather jacket and jeans. The jacket had the image of a skull with the motto, "Kill 'Em All And Let God Sort 'Em Out" emblazoned beneath it. 

"Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been 23,000 years since I have confessed my sins. I have committed murder, adultery, and many other sins, but that is not why I am here," he said.

Marco thought this man must be crazy to think he had been alive for 23,000 years. Also, he believed he was a murderer. Parishioners had confessed murder to him before but most of the time these were cases of mentally ill people with guilt issues. 

"Why are you here, my son?" Marco asked diplomatically.

"You have the gall to advise people about their sins when you are a great sinner. You have stolen, abused, and killed. It is time for you to pay," answered the man in leather.

"I have no problem admitting that I am a sinner. But you are accusing me of things I never did. What did I steal? Whom did I abuse? And I am certain that I have not killed anyone."

The man in leather screamed, "LIARRRR!!!" He opened his mouth and his head transformed into a skull. A stream of fire poured out his mouth and engulfed the priest.


	6. Oddball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this story doesn't really belong here. The story below is a DC story and it doesn't belong in the Marvel Universe. But, I'd like my readers to give it a chance. I'm being a bad boy, but maybe you can give this bad boy some love.

Adam Jiffy: Hi J'onn.

Martian Manhunter / J'onn Jonzz: Good afternoon, Adam.

(AJ orders a meatball sub and a regular Coke. MM orders a turkey sub and a Dasani bottled water. They pick up their trays and find a table.)

AJ: So why did you want to meet at a Subway?

MM: I enjoy the food on their menu. I am a frequent customer.

AJ: Oh. Okay.

MM: Is that unusual? It strikes me as a rather popular establishment.

AJ: No, no, not unusual at all. It is popular. Anyway, I had a helluva time doing research on you. I have to ask you some basic questions because there's a lot I don't know.

MM: I expected that. It is not a problem. What do you wish to ask?

AJ: If you're a Martian, does that mean there is still intelligent life on Mars now?

MM: No. I am extremely old, slightly more than a million years old. I lived on Mars when it had a vibrant, sophisticated civilization. Unfortunately an environmental disaster killed off all the organisms.

AJ: I'm so sorry. Wait, a million years?

MM: Different species have different lifespans. Compared to some bacteria, your own lifespan is like a million years.

AJ: How did you escape from Mars?

MM: It is a long story that is rather difficult to explain. I was a prominent leader on Mars, but I fell out of favor. That led to my exile. 

AJ: Do you think you were at fault?

MM:I was naïve to expect the people around me had my best interests at heart, but otherwise I was blameless.

AJ: I've seen various descriptions of your powers. They don't quite make sense to me. Reports say you have psychic abilities, flying, shapeshifting, enhanced intelligence, and it just goes on and on.

MM: I have all of the powers that you listed.

AJ: Could you or would you demonstrate one for me?

MM: (sigh) It's possible, but I have two concerns. One, this is a busy restaurant and I would prefer not to make a scene. Two, there is a problematic tension between superheroes and the media where certain journalists, not necessarily you, ask superheroes to show off their powers. It takes on the characteristics of a freak show and I find it unsettling.

AJ: Valid concerns. I see where you're coming from. But as a journalist, I have a duty to verify claims, especially if the claims seem unlikely. I find these abilities pretty amazing and think my readers will too, but I have to establish they're true.

MM: All right. I have an idea that will let me prove I have superpowers but is subtle enough that it will not cause a scene. I want you to examine me carefully, noting my face and other physical features.

(Adam had already noticed that MM had curly blond hair. Looking closely, Adam notices slightly tanned skin and a wide chin. He isn't huge but he's above average in height.)

MM: Excuse me.

(MM walks to the men's room. Several minutes pass. The men's room door opens. A completely different man sits down at Adam's table. He has straight, black hair, olive skin, and a rounded chin. He is clearly shorter now, by about six inches.)

MM: We were discussing my face, weren't we?

AJ: That's incredible, but don't you think people will notice the difference?

MM: People tend to see what they are looking for and miss the rest.

AJ: Is your body completely different from mine?

MM: On the one hand, yes, my physiology is different in a plethora of ways from your own. Cataloguing all the ways would be exhausting for both of us.

AJ: I have a crazy idea and I'm a little ashamed of it. Wanna hear it?

MM: When you set it up that way, I am very much inclined to hear it.

AJ: I have a picture of my ex-girlfriend and since you can take on any shape. . . .

MM: I'll do it. But be careful what you wish for.

Manhunter morphs into a slim, stylish young woman. Adam Jiffy stares dumbfounded. He leans in for a kiss, knowing he's being a fool. Pulling away, Manhunter morphs back into the man with dark hair. Jiffy recoils in horror.

AJ: Is assimilating or fitting in something that concerns you? Are there times you feel isolated?

MM: I wouldn't be very effective as a superhero if I couldn't assimilate. I investigate crimes and uncover secret conspiracies so you can imagine that looking or sounding strange would interfere with my missions. I used to feel an intense loneliness before I befriended other superheroes. That feeling has largely subsided.

AJ: You mentioned sounding strange and I notice that your speech has a very technical quality. Phrases like "prominent leader," "plethora of ways,: and "befriended," make you seem like an academic or a foreigner. Is that a conscious choice?

MM: Absolutely. I can turn it on and off. In my mind, I make choices in a deliberate, logical manner. If I let my thoughts progress naturally into words, they have that scientific tone you described. But if I shapeshift into a persona where that tone doesn't fit, I change my tone.

AJ: That's pretty amazing. Hey, did you get six cookies?

MM: I did. Would you like one?

AJ: No.

MM: That is for the better. I was not truly prepared to share. 


	7. Heavenly

Coulson and May are in a Black Dodge Truck. They park in a gravel lot outside a storage facility.

Coulson: This is it. Want to go over the plan?

May: No, I'm ready.

Coulson: I just need one thing. (He leaned in and kissed May's neck.) 

May: Mmm. Not the best timing, but not the worst either.

As the pair stepped out of the vehicle, four Ghost Rider clones surrounded them in all directions. Each one had a flaming red skull and a long chain that made a KRSSSHHH- RSSSHHH sound.

May took on two of the Riders at once. She landed a kick on one and a jab on the other. She thought it would be fun to bash their heads together. But as she attempted the move, she left her back exposed. The Rider to her left swung his chain and raked it across her spine. She fell to the ground. "AAAH!"

"MAY!!" shouted Coulson.

"Foolish Phil. You can't defeat us. You would need a weapon from Heaven itself to have a chance," said the third Rider.

{Think, something from heaven, something from heaven. It's impossible. How could anything be. . . Wait, there IS something. It's kind of a Hail Mary, but I have nothing to lose.}

Coulson ran to the truck and opened his door. He fished out a green book from the glove compartment. 

A bookmark made of white silk marked a section close to the end. He had an instinct that this was the place to turn. He began reading out loud.

"Say: I seek refuge from the Lord of daybreak. From the evil of that which he created."

Rider 1: NOOOOO!!

Rider 2: The noise! The terrible noise!

"And from the evil of darkness when it settles. And from the blowers in knots."

Rider 3: I have to escape it. My brothers, to Hell, to escape this disgusting sound.

"And from the evil of the envier when he envies."

The fourth rider reverted to his human form. He asked, "What just happened?"

Coulson: The rider said only a weapon from Heaven could defeat him. So I read from the Quran.

Ghost Rider: So what you're saying is that the Quran came from heaven?

Coulson: I don't know. I see strange things in this job all the time. I try not to let it affect what I believe. I mean, I'm not going to start worshiping Thor. Why'd you burn down the shawarma place?

Ghost Rider: I wanted to show the Avengers that Earth was my turf and they shouldn't mess with it.

Coulson: That was really a dumb idea.


End file.
